using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
