you didnt know i had herpes?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
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i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
pray to the hookup gods
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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