hell yes lets make some ravioli
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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