I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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