people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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