i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
