No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
