I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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