Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
