They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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