Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
nutella sex= disaster
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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