My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
