found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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