I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If that was your dad, he is hot
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
