You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
