doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
