Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
