Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
