i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize