I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
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the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
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you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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