Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
