if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
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We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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