I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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