butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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