1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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