"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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