Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
