Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
