I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ