During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet