never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.