hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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