her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
