But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
