drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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