Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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