so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
