I accidentally had phone sex last night
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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