your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I have post one night stand depression
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