You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize