we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
