isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
