Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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