I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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