He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
