ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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