She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
