I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
