gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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