do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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