my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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