I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
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She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
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I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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