i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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