Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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