does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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