I'm really into asian looking animals
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The adults are the big ones right?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize