Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
