She is in my trunk
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
